I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
