My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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