in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
