She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
