At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
this is an emotional support booty call
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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