Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
