Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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