is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
