was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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