Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
