I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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