Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
