I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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