Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
