question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize