Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I stole a fireplace last night.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
