You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
