I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
