it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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