I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
