I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
