I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
