What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
