Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
