Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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