Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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