Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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