I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
do herpes really smell.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
