im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize