I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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