I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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