omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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