dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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