I just made out with a guy for $7.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
