The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
