So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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