I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
