Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
