New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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