Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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