You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
