are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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