I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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