Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
