i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
