She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize