You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
