I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We're too hungover to prance.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
