i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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