if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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