And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
