the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
