yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
