She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
