im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
