I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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