I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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