I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
