can u get pink eye on your cock?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
