You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
