I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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