you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
