I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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