We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
