Do vagina's smell?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
