what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
