Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
