plz talk dirty to me
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
