the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
