So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
